otherlothbrok:

                  <sub>his hands, hardened by war reached out and fluttered like birds in
                  his hesitance to touch her. she had always been untouchable to
                  him. more treasured than any amount of gold, and her affection 
                  was rarer still. yet now she was crawling into his bed in the cover
                  of night. the sweetest dream he had ever had, yet he knew he was
                  not asleep. 

despite his need, his urgent desire to reach out and touch to make 
sure that the woman beside him was real, rollo did not reach out and
cross the space between them. did not d a r e in case Lagertha would
vanish like a vision in the night. 

                 in the dark he could barely see her. he so desperately wanted to see her and to
                 trace her form with his eyes, then hands, and then mouth if he was so allowed
                 
                                         ( he knew that he would never be allowed such a thing
                                               a wretched man such as him could not be allowed to touch
                                           someone so obviously molded by the gods )

            “ i will be glad to be your company tonight — everything is easier in pairs.“ 

the light from the moon is dim. but rollo catches the reflection of it
in Lagertha’s lovely eyes. they hold such deep sadness within them.
rollo is sure, that it is not only in the moon light which them seem so
s a d. it makes his heart ache to see her forlorn in any way, he wishes 
to go out and destroy whatever has thought itself great enough to try
and take the light out of the eyes of the woman he loves. even if that
very being in his own brother. she does not deserve the sadness which 
lurks in her eyes. obviously so carefully hidden in the daylight when 
anyone might see.</sub> 

                     <sub>a sadness he knows all too well. which he carried dark and heavy
                     for four long years. a sadness that he has yet to wrestle from entirely,
                     which still fills his thoughts with doubts of his own worth and of his
                     tentative place by his brother’s side. 
                                          
                                           ( but Lagertha without knowing it has helped to
                                             extinquish some of that sadness by returning
                                             and he can only hope that maybe — just maybe
                                             he can do the same for her )

finally. finally he reaches out to wrap a steady arm around Lagertha’s 
body and pull her close. he has to resist shivering at the feeling of her
warmth nestled against his own. his hand rests warm and sure against
her shoulder, keeping her close. whether it is for her sake or his own he
does not know. but he does not care either. he will give himself this 
sort of selfish pleasure so long as it benefits her as well. as he gazes upon
her his free hand reaches up to brush stray strands of flaxen hair from her 
face, calloused fingertips brushing gently against her skin in a tender
caress. 

                “ know this lagertha. 
                       until my dying breath i will do everything in my power
                       to see you content once more.” 
                                           
            the words were breathed out, a soft promise against the stray strands of hair
            which just barely tickle his jaw when he tilts his head down to speak to her. 
            tomorrow she may pretend he never said such things, and rollo will not push
            them upon her. but he needs her to know. that no matter the years or distance  
            between them, he will still desire her and her happiness. 

                               even at the expense of his own.</sub> 

        _{life was what she yearned so desperately for, to feel once
        again as she had so long ago. but could she truly possess
        what she desired most with reckless abandon, to steal her
        away as a thief in the shadow of night, the very darkness
        that swallows their bodies now? all it took was a moment,
        the sheer nearness of him to her lithe form, the warmth
        radiating from his skin to envelop her, her heart beginning
        to pound in the caverns of her chest, awakened to stutter at
        a rabbit’s pace.} 

                                _{both had been burdened for so long, battling to not buckle
                                beneath the weight of it all. was it weight the Gods knew they
                                could bear? surely she was fated to bear it alone just as Rollo
                                sought to. in the past, each effort he would expend to pursue
                                her would be thwarted in haste to never allow her own dormant
                                connection to come to fruition.} 

                                                         _{( … the present appeared to unearth
                                                               what she had long kept concealed,
                                                               lost to the recesses of her psyche. the
                                                               tether that binds them now would
                                                               never heed to any boundary. )}

        _{his response warranted a chuckle to couple with a nod of
        confirmation, foreign merriment unleashed from the prison
        self-discipline. though his reputation had preceded him, Rollo
        had grown, fulfilling the traits of becoming the great man she
        had doubted him to be by constructing his own path. what
        honourable traits begin to bloom draw Lagertha closer, to ease
        what doubts she had harboured before, knowing the apprehension
        of risk when the man in her company now was such.}

                               _{touch is the spark that sears her fears, bathing them in the flames
                               of her own impulse. once more, the numbness began to fade at
                               his caress, shifting into the path his fingertips would follow without
                               conscious effort whilst lashes fluttered to a close, an exhale passing
                               from barely parted lips. a hand crept up his chest, wondering if in the
                               darkness his own heart was racing just as hers.}

              _{❝ ——– i am content now. ❞}

        _{once more, her gaze met his through her lashes, inching
        closer as if to give him the chance to obliterate what misery
        riddles her very bones, penetrating so deep to the marrow.} 

                       _{what would become of them at first light?
                                                         would this all be but a distant memory?}