otherlothbrok:

Lagertha shines so brightly still — not just the flash of her sword
or the chain mail she wears. she glows more brightly than the
                                     s t a r s
there is no doubt that he will always be drawn to her, as a moth
is drawn to a flame. from the start she has been a a treasure he
has always coveted. in her abscense his fondness for her never
deteriorated. how can one lose their love for the s t a r s after all? 
the look on Lagertha’s face is not a happy one, though he is not
surprised — she is entering the home that she once ruled where 
another stands today. 

                                                 ( lagertha will always be
                                                    the f i n e s t earl &
                                                    strongest shieldmaiden
                                                    Kattegat will ever see)

she seems changed. her eyes were hard, her walk still graceful
but full of purpose — as if she was prepared for battle when
entering her own ( h o m e ) that will not stop him though. he
has know Lagertha for years. though she is mighty and one to
be respected he will not shy away from her. 

he does not have time to respond to her words before his touch is
denied. though he is not unused to being denied by Lagertha a
friendly touch never usually went astray with her. they were once
                                 ( and in his mind always would be ) 
companions, warriors who fought side by side on the battlefield 
with one another as equals. & now he years for that feeling again
as he years for many things concerning Lagertha. 

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                                         ” I have seen far better days. Though I hope they are returning
                                              now that you have as well.

leaning in close, close enough his frame hides hers from any at
the lodge he speaks in low, hushed tones that were only meant 
for her ears. 
                                                                                  And I have missed you. 
                                                                             all of Kattegat has missed you. But I….
                                                                           I celebrate your return more than any.”

               ( he will always be a creature who seeks out
                 his own desires. too often denied them by
                the gods or his brothers to fail simply by not
                                         t r y i n g 
                and Lagertha has always been one of those
                                       d e s i r e s  )
Stepping back and to the side, they can then walk side by side
once more. his hands stay on his belt, a gesture of good will since
his attention was so obviously unwished for. sounds of good cheer
only grow louder as they near the lodge. it brings a rare smile to
his face. the people will always cheer for their true q u e e n

Siggy runs forward, her hands outstretched towards Lagertha. they 
were like sisters, Rollo remembers. he steps aside, his gaze heavy
on Lagertha even as he follows father & son into the lodge. there 
will be time later, to pull the shieldmaiden aside and see how well
she truly is. for now there is much rejoicing and Rollo shall watch
until she is alone, a wolf watching his prey. there will be time to 
 p o u n c e. soon enough.

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        time would serve to change them all, to alter the very fabric
        of their being, to cause them grow & flourish or wither & perish.
        for those years, Lagertha believed she was to belong to the latter.
        she had become the mere shell of a woman, forsaken by her husband
        in favor of more offspring. but even with their divorce, she had lost
       Gyda, left to yearn for the simple sound of her voice. even within
       the face of a dismal fate, she had to remain strong, gathering
       the shattered pieces to find a place for herself as well as her son. 

                                                                            ( could she truly live now?
                                                                              was this to be the air to 
                                                                              fill her lifeless frame? the 
                                                                              moment to bid her blood
                                                                              to run once more? )

        dark optics flickered across her visage, her own gaze observing
        him study her, fearful that he may be able to seem her somber
        nature beneath what lighthearted mask she wore. Rollo had
        grown to know her far too well from years of observance, of his
        own curse to desire a woman who would not —- could not reciprocate
        such wishes. he had done so much for her, all so easily dismissed
        by whatever words she could conjure in the moment. 

                     now he was here again, causing her to recall
                     the home she had abandoned for her own sake. 

                   ❝ Kattegat was my home, they were once my people.
                                                    It is the least I can do. ❞

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        the syllables that flow from his lips are comprehended slowly,
        left to revel in the fact that her absence has only caused his
        heart to grow fonder instead of calcifying it in stone. the shieldmaiden
        is left to blink, almost disoriented, remaining silent as their feet
        began to move in cadence towards the lodge. it wasn’t what that
        she didn’t want to respond, it was that any tact had deserted her.

                    soon enough, her lithe frame was ensnared in Siggy’s warm embrace,
                    greeted by Helga to then meet Ragnar’s sons, huddled near their mother.
                    plans for battle were devised moments after, her son leaving with his
                    father to destroy what winter grain stores they had collected to draw out
                    their target. when they departed, Lagertha had to exit the space of the
                    lodge to feel her lungs expand once more, to breathe, to dispel what
                    anxiety tormented her. 

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        the light of the moon was her only company as she pleaded
        to the sky above, screaming to the Gods in a whisper to protect 
        Björn, to bring him back unscathed. the loss of all she has left
        would cripple her. 

©DH