drengskapr → ｃｏｕｒａｇｅ♕ LAGERTHA - though a maiden, had the ᴄᴏᴜʀᴀɢᴇ of a man & fought in front among the bravest with her hair loose over her shoulders. ❖
light footsteps served to carry her into the room for which Rollo’s broken frame lied upon the bed. the burden of his injuries, the fault weighed heavily upon her shoulders even if he was not within her hoard of warriors. his loyalty left him to nestle at Ragnar’s side, unrelenting, to prove himself following the man he had once betrayed. due to their brimming conflict & mistrust between the Viking sects caused them to be a prime target, doomed to fail as they did not fight as ONE.
(stronger TOGETHER, weaker A P A R T. – )
seating herself quietly at the bedside, fingers clasp the cloth saturated with watered warmed by flame using it to cleanse the crimson that cascaded from the wounds littering his face, murmuring hushed prayers to Eir for his rapid recovery.
the sudden of Lagertha close to him was surprised but not at all unwelcome. especially when s o f t lips pressed against his own all of the sudden — and in public as well. he did not fight against her conquest of his mouth, giving in easy and pressing his hands against her waist to tug her close, devouring her just as she did him.
he pulls away with a tug of his teeth on her bottom lip. addicted to her touch and uncaring of any who saw their affection.
” Not that i’m complaining at all — but we are in public.”
such an expression caused warmth to penetrate the very marrow of her bones despite the chill in the breeze which rustled through flaxen locks. although his loyalty had once wavered from her former husband, in Rollo, Lagertha found complete devotion, not once hearing whispers of him straying since the moment affection was shared between them.
a chuckle flowed from her lips as they brushed teasingly over his own before quelling her amusement to speak, all words meant in jest.
❝ is it a crime ? or are you afraidRagnar will see? ❞
spontaneity had its moments but perhaps within the territory of Kattegat was not the wisest for such displays. & yet the shieldmaiden did not exude any caution as her lips collided with Rollo’s, conquering his towering frame with the utmost ease, ravenous & fervent in her approach.
after the blood eagle of Borg, Rollo with a heavy heart realized that he no longer had ties to Kattegat. his brother seemed to still barely trust him and was wrapped up in his family. his friends still though he could not blame them for that. and Siggy, who he had loved and tried to treat right had betrayed him twice. with Horik and the man’s son. it had been too much. it had broken him in both spirit and P R I D E.
so he bid farewell to his family ( his real family. Ragnar and his children, even Aslaug )
there were not many places for him to go. he had cut many ties from betraying Borg and Ragnar in such a short span of time. and there were very few places that he wanted to go. that he thought might offer him comfort that Kattegat was unable to.
he did know, exactly who and where would offer him the sort of peace mind that he was seeking his heart knew as well as his mind that he may have a home in L A G E R T H A’S new lands
when he arrived it was to wary stares, which he understood. but he did not flinch, asking to see Lagertha, though he was surprised when they seemed wary to bring her to him. at the sight of her, the hard lines riddled with sadness on his face instantly softened. only to harden again at the obvious healing marks on her face. his fists clenched in rage and a fire ignited in his stomach. but he grit his teeth and spoke, unwilling to act until he knew what had happened to her beautiful face.
( who would dare touch her like that? )
“ I have news if you wish to hear it. ——— but I did not come in order to bring you news.“
he did worry that she may not want him there. that her husband may not want him here. but he had no where else to go. his heart yearned for no one else. “ May we go inside and talk? I feel this may take a while….”
his presence was not unwanted but surprising all the same. what would cause him to leave Kattegat, to leave his deepening bond to his brother? reasons for his departure were to be revealed in time, that was one fact Lagertha was certain of. his trust in her was the tie that bestowed permission on the shieldmaiden to see the Rollo beyond what was provided to most. even if unease was her initial reaction, she could not help but recall the night they had spent together.
F U R Y unrelenting, unparalleled arose in his gaze, tension immediately noted in his frame causing her feet to advance rather than retreat as most would. the evidence of her punishment still laid bare on her skin for all to witness, the trigger to awaken his desire for bloodshed. of course deep down he knew there were no dragons or beasts for him to slay here when Lagertha was capable of doing so herself.
❝ of course. ————– come. ❞
fingers curl round one of his fists, hoping to coax his own free, to induce moderate relaxation. it was a gentle reminder for him to calm what storm raged within before depriving him of her touch to lead him further into her dwelling, into what private space resided behind the vast gathering hall.
the moment they are alone, she motioned for him to be seated whilst calling to one of the servants requesting that they prepare food & drink for her visitor. once their exchange is completed, her attention reverted back to her impromptu company, closing the door behind her.
this is more than just sex. with Lagertha it was never just about sex, she was not some prize to be won and used, only to be thrown aside when he was bored. she was more. words failed him to describe what having her actually meant to him — what it did to him. she was what he had desired but likely never deserved, a sad truth but one he knew all the same. the mere sound of her laughter caused his lips to quirk upwards in shared amusement. she had not sounded so happy since her arrival in Kattegat, and he took great pride in knowing he was the one who had caused such a sound. even if that was all he was able to do for her, it would be enough.
( but that wasn’t all he wanted to do for her. he wanted to do e v e r y t h i n g — for her. & he knew it was impossible, that she was too independent, too strong to need his help for so much. yet he still yearned to be her anchor ————- )
the feel of a strong leg wrapping around him - hips rocking against his own. Rollo wouldn’t — didn’t want to stop the groan that emerged deep from his throat. his lips refused to part from soft skin, nipping possessively (though he knew she was not his to possess ) at her jaw. he was d r o w n i n g in her & there was nothing on this plane or another that would make him want to be saved.
fingers sought out warm flesh and Rollo’s hand slid underneath the shift that Lagertha was wearing, pressing against her waist her ribs, tracing each of them gently, staying just shy of her breast teasing the both of them, a delightful torture that he could, but would not (at least not tonight) carry on for hours.
the feel of her hands, soft yet deadly, trailing over his spine caused Rollo to arch and shiver, with a feral sound he rolled his hips down against Lagetha’s, his head tilting down further to press his lips to her neck and down any exposed skin on her chest.
a deep chuckle resounded out of his mouth. amused &pleased.
” —- you are far better than I imagined. my dreams were poor imitations of you. though that, I could have told you at the very start. “ his fingers, which had just been exploring before pushed up her dress. he was still so surprised that he was allowed to do this that he had to pause and simply take in the bare form of Lagertha. still, he could not resist and bent down to trail his lips over the skin of her chest and breasts, his free hand cupping one experimentally, this was not his first time with a woman by far — but it felt so much different than any other time before.
” I want you. I have always wanted you. Can I — I’d rather not have you break my arm for doing something you dislike.”
it was not as if he could not understand the thrill that Lagertha was seeking. He understood it well. But he feared for her life & the thrills that she seeks. They are always dangerous, no matter what she tells him — and she is always doing them alone.
( does she not know how much she worries him? he wonders that, he really does. Because if she knew what it did to him to know that she was out there putting her life on the line he wondered if she would fight him so hard on this? P r o b a b l y ) ❝ do you even know — ❞
he has to stop himself. because he doesn’t want to guilt her in to stopping. or maybe he does, but he won’t do that. & it is so obvious that she doesn’t know what kind of hell her leaving is on him.
❝ let me go with you, or something. please. you might say it is an easy one, but danger seems to love you. ❞
not half as much as Rollo does. but gods does danger love her.
Vαℓнαℓℓα would not await a woman who wasted her days in elevators & offices. though her beliefs would have marked her as a heathen, it caused her not to fear death but embrace it when it would come for her. life was only worth living when one actually lived it. & her life felt so dull, practically wasted without her … hobby.
( she knows exactly what it does to him although perhaps she remains ignorant to the extent it affects him. none could contain her. she would come & go as her will demanded it. )
finally azure hues arose to collide with dark amber irises, resting a hand upon the center of his chest. whatever they had, if she would ever allow herself to acknowledge it, was a tether she did not know was forged until it was too late.
❝ —— f i n e . ❞
only if it got him to stop looking at her like that.
❝ you need to stop worrying about me. i can handle myself ; —- or have you forgotten? ❞
A deep frown etches onto the corners of his mouth — he is furious with her. How does she not understand?
❝ No. No, i’m not going to just stand by and let you keep doing this! ❞
she is always trying to k i l l herself, he swears. or maybe.. she is trying to kill h i m with how reckless she is being with her life
bringing herself to raise her gaze only to view the look of complete expression of displeasure on his features was not a feat she desired to accomplish.
adrenaline & adventure was all she could not have sitting in a boardroom managing a company she built from nothing. did he not realize how she craved the thrill? how it occupied her mind & fulfilled her in ways domestic life never truly did?
❝ it’s just another mission, Rollo. an easy one. how hard could security for some pop star be ? ❞
( it’s not like it was an assassination or a warrant service. )
he had worked for years to gain the affection of Lagertha, he had failed for years to gain even a kind glance from her. she had thought him not as a great man — maybe not even a good one. yet today she sought him out for comfort, to share her loneliness and her grief. it had never been clear if he had really grown as a person or not. but today she has proven to him that he has become a man at least good enough to deserve her ever sought after affection.
( it is the greatest feat he has ever accomplished )
” your life should be full of laughter. i would give you one as such.”
his voice was a solemn promise as well as a hopeful reach into what may or may not be when the sun touches the sky once more. but those thoughts were banished quickly. if he had only tonight he would focus on tonight. tonight needed to be perfect, he needed to pour all of his affection for Lagertha out until she is surrounded by the warmth and earnestness of it. luckily it would not be hard, all of his pent up affection and attraction to her could not be caged for long, it had slipped out before and finally he would allow it to come out in full force without fear of consequences.
( it would be no problem to let it all out to shower this might woman in the amount of love & warmth that she both deserves and that he has to offer her ——————— )
the feel of her teeth, blunt and demanding against his bottom lip had a growl sounding from deep in his throat, the sound deep like and animal’s as his fingers clutches at the soft skin of her back with a forcefulness he would usually not dare to use on her.
in a s w i f t motion he rolls them until his body overlaps her own, until she is pinned beneath him and he can feel the unrelenting heat of her against his front. his hands slide to cup her jaw, amazed at how delicate she feels despite how tough as steel he knows her to be. meanwhile a daring hand slides down the curve of her side, taking in the roundness of her hips and the shape of her thigh through her clothing.
he grips her hip in a vice, tugging her body against his until they they are like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together. it is how it feels to him, right and fulfilling. as if he has never truly been whole until he was allowed to feel the full length of her against him.
the entire time his lips are not idle. his tongue traces the fullness of her mouth chases her teeth back into her mouth to explore there as well. to mark and claim any part of her that he will allow him. the kiss grows more restless the longer she allows it to go on. he maps her lips with tongue and teeth, nipping at her lips and soothing the action over with his tongue.
his mouth wanders, to the curve of her swell of her cheek to plant affectionate kisses there before they wander down to Lagertha’s delicate jaw.
” you are beautiful. exquisite.“
rollo’s voice is still a growl, deep and full of passion for the woman beneath him who is allowing him to keep her there. his hands grow more daring still, sliding back to grab at and squeeze her ass in one large, calloused hand. his breathing stutters against her jaw at the full reality of being able to touch her & kiss her like this. the open-mouthed kisses continue though, trailing down towards her neck.
———- this is everything he has ever wanted. he’s intoxicated by her. & he never wants this to end.
though the needs had been of carnal origin, there was far more to this moment than Lagertha would care to acknowledge. if only she could inhibit the reeling of her thoughts, to allow her body to speak for her, to let this ephemeral freedom run its due course. excitement would jar muscles awake, to know warmth before returning to the frigid, besotted husband alone with nothing but herself to accompany her, to comfort her if events following her arrival would go awry.
paths that had once been forcibly parted, running parallel to one another, had begun to converge in this very moment. cognition falling further into the abyss of her latent hunger. his promise did not go unheard, knowing the weight of his words, remembering just how he had desired her since the moment their gazes collided, her voice echoing his in their battle cry amidst the shield wall. it had been fated, every course plotted upon her birth, the strands woven by the Nσяηѕ causing her to pray for a union with Ragnar.
& when she was to acknowledge his words, her svelte frame was shifted beneath him, air releasing from her lungs to form a string of muffled chuckles whilst her mouth was claimed wholly. Rollo’s touch caused a heat to linger upon the surface of skin, enlivened, her leg bending, lifting to rest at his hip, positioned to ensnare him further as he does the same. hips rocked forward with ease, nails poised as talons to heighten every sensation raked down his prominent tricep of the limb that captured her hip eliciting a dulcet gasp.
( the warrior’s fervent passion was the expression of the torment Lagertha unknowingly had cursed him with. was it witless to assume that he would find another & his ardent affections would dwindle? )
gates had been obliterated to release a flood, one that the shieldmaiden was willing to drown in, to drag her below the surface to never emerge again as reality grew to be irrelevant with every press of his lips to her heated flesh. though teeth caught her bottom lip, a mewl escaped to goad him further, waiting for her own moment to pounce, letting him revel in what dominance he had. all the while happiness was present, ignorance growing truly blissful whilst fingertips traced his the length of his spine, light, feathery touches aiming to tease, coupling with another roll of her lower half to collide with his.
❝ —- just as you imagined ? ❞
it was all she could manage before being led below the surface once more. she was his just for this night.
those who resided in Hedeby had stood at her side to slay the tyrant who had sought to break Lagertha's ᴍɪɢʜᴛʏ spirit, matchless by any other. but was she prepared to rule the settlement? to inherit the power those around her had not dared to challenge as their right? sovereignty would fall to her, rising to the occasion, tight, confining braids r e l e a s e d to allow flaxen strands to cascade down her shoulders.
( her trust in the Gσ∂ѕ had P R E V A I L E D . )
the injuries upon her face began to mend, able to smile the slightest bit without causing a wince of pain, returning to the seemingly menial task of turning thread into garments at her loom. freedom was the crash of her chains colliding with the earth to couple with the thud of Sigvard’s frame.
lost in her reverie, she did not hear the servant girl enter her space until her soft, meek voice graced her senses.
❝ my Lady, there is someone here to see you. ❞
despite what bewilderment would course through her frame, the words were acknowledged with a nod, dismissing her with gentle words of gratitude. & as she exited, Lagertha pivoted to view her visitor, her previous perplexity was shown clearly on her furrowed brow.
❝ —- Rollo ? Do you bring news of Kattegat? ❞
why else would he be here? had poor fortune befallen her former home? what of her son ?
Lagertha shines so brightly still — not just the flash of her sword or the chain mail she wears. she glows more brightly than the s t a r s there is no doubt that he will always be drawn to her, as a moth is drawn to a flame. from the start she has been a a treasure he has always coveted. in her abscense his fondness for her never deteriorated. how can one lose their love for the s t a r s after all? the look on Lagertha’s face is not a happy one, though he is not surprised — she is entering the home that she once ruled where another stands today.
( lagertha will always be the f i n e s t earl & strongest shieldmaiden Kattegat will ever see)
she seems changed. her eyes were hard, her walk still graceful but full of purpose — as if she was prepared for battle when entering her own ( h o m e ) that will not stop him though. he has know Lagertha for years. though she is mighty and one to be respected he will not shy away from her.
he does not have time to respond to her words before his touch is denied. though he is not unused to being denied by Lagertha a friendly touch never usually went astray with her. they were once ( and in his mind always would be ) companions, warriors who fought side by side on the battlefield with one another as equals. & now he years for that feeling again as he years for many things concerning Lagertha.
” I have seen far better days. Though I hope they are returning now that you have as well.”
leaning in close, close enough his frame hides hers from any at the lodge he speaks in low, hushed tones that were only meant for her ears. “And I have missed you. all of Kattegat has missed you. But I…. I celebrate your return more than any.”
( he will always be a creature who seeks out his own desires. too often denied them by the gods or his brothers to fail simply by not t r y i n g and Lagertha has always been one of those d e s i r e s ) Stepping back and to the side, they can then walk side by side once more. his hands stay on his belt, a gesture of good will since his attention was so obviously unwished for. sounds of good cheer only grow louder as they near the lodge. it brings a rare smile to his face. the people will always cheer for their true q u e e n.
Siggy runs forward, her hands outstretched towards Lagertha. they were like sisters, Rollo remembers. he steps aside, his gaze heavy on Lagertha even as he follows father & son into the lodge. there will be time later, to pull the shieldmaiden aside and see how well she truly is. for now there is much rejoicing and Rollo shall watch until she is alone, a wolf watching his prey. there will be time to p o u n c e. soon enough.
time would serve to change them all, to alter the very fabric of their being, to cause them grow & flourish or wither & perish. for those years, Lagertha believed she was to belong to the latter. she had become the mere shell of a woman, forsaken by her husband in favor of more offspring. but even with their divorce, she had lost Gyda, left to yearn for the simple sound of her voice. even within the face of a dismal fate, she had to remain strong, gathering the shattered pieces to find a place for herself as well as her son.
( could she truly live now? was this to be the air to fill her lifeless frame? the moment to bid her blood to run once more? )
dark optics flickered across her visage, her own gaze observing him study her, fearful that he may be able to seem her somber nature beneath what lighthearted mask she wore. Rollo had grown to know her far too well from years of observance, of his own curse to desire a woman who would not —- could not reciprocate such wishes. he had done so much for her, all so easily dismissed by whatever words she could conjure in the moment.
now he was here again, causing her to recall the home she had abandoned for her own sake.
❝ Kattegat was my home, they were once my people. It is the least I can do. ❞
the syllables that flow from his lips are comprehended slowly, left to revel in the fact that her absence has only caused his heart to grow fonder instead of calcifying it in stone. the shieldmaiden is left to blink, almost disoriented, remaining silent as their feet began to move in cadence towards the lodge. it wasn’t what that she didn’t want to respond, it was that any tact had deserted her.
soon enough, her lithe frame was ensnared in Siggy’s warm embrace, greeted by Helga to then meet Ragnar’s sons, huddled near their mother. plans for battle were devised moments after, her son leaving with his father to destroy what winter grain stores they had collected to draw out their target. when they departed, Lagertha had to exit the space of the lodge to feel her lungs expand once more, to breathe, to dispel what anxiety tormented her.
the light of the moon was her only company as she pleaded to the sky above, screaming to the Gods in a whisper to protect Björn, to bring him back unscathed. the loss of all she has left would cripple her.
ever since ragnar had accepted him back into his good graces he had not taken anything for himself. had not dared to indulge in the pleasures of life as he had before. the gods were either rewarding him for his good deeds, for saving the live of his brother’s new wife and children, or they were testing him. because if temptation took a form for him, that form would be Lagertha. and here she was, curled in his bed, content as a cat. looking very much as if she belonged there.
( though maybe that was because he had imagined here there so many times before? )
so that was the real question. was she a reward or a test of will? either way he was doomed to fail. he wanted her, his entire body ached with the need to touch, covet, claim her for his own, he would either indulge himself in her and be rejected or not and lose his only shot. he could see no other options.
but in his mind he knew that they were good for each other. that their hurts had made them jagged, given their souls sharp edges that would spurn most people away. they were both so broken that they could fit together in a perfect connection. they were both sheaths and swords both dangerous and useless if they did not come together.
her chuckle was intoxicating, no matter how brief and fleeting it was on instinct he reached out to trace his finger over the curve of her cheek, “ you have a beautiful laugh. i wish i could hear it more.”
touch may spark fear in Lagertha, but it sparks confidence in rollo. he never has felt more alive, more invigorated than as he is allowed to reach out and caress Lagertha’s soft skin. his heart is beating like the drums of war, heavy and steady. this is all he wants, fear will not stop him tonight not as it has stopped him so many times before. so when a slight hand presses against his chest he presses forward, encouraging the gesture as his own own slides to the small of her back. wanting to keep her close, refusing to let her slip through his fingers this time.
”then my job is complete.” he teased. eyes crinkling in amusement.
cupping Lagertha’s cheek with one large hand, he rubs his thumb against the curve of her cheek once more. a soft sigh leaves his lips. he stops, contemplates and then makes his decision.
his desire for her had always been as all consuming as the ocean just as powerful. just as deadly. tonight he is going to allow himself to drown in the depths of his desire for her. if he does not make his way to the surface tomorrow, then he will accept it willingly. he will submit himself to the churning depths, sacrifice himself willing to his love for her.
dipping his head forward rollo’s mouth lingered just a hairs width from her own. he stops, fear gripping at his heart for a moment before he takes the p l u n g e.
their lips come together soft at first, tentative and exploratory as his fingers slide into her hair and tangle in the flaxen locks that he has desired under his fingertips for so long. he tries to pour all of his unreleased passion into the kiss, all of the tenderness and affection that he had been holding on to under the visage of indifference and casual lust.
as the effects of what ale she consumed began to dissipate, the clarity only serving to deepen temptation, a body awaken, a soul finally lost to companionship. although not on her feet, the room appeared to reel around her until it soon fell out of view, the whirling panic of opaque darkness receded to allow focus. chaos would fall to static the centre of her attention was the man at her side but was her more than just the diversion to escape the detrimental cage of her own psyche?
LONELINESS had become her, LOSS materializing to be the shadow which lingers so near to claim whatever she has. for a brief passing of time, Lagertha wished to not know the sting of her reality, to dwell on the notion that she was to leave what made her most happy, to release what had given her hope for what the future might bring.
( happiness was evanescent but presently, the warrior’s company was to ease her mind, to lull it into a quiet slumber only to unveil the thoughtless appetite of what was forced into latency. )
circumstance would cause them to become one, two parts of a hazardous whole. much to Rollo’s vexation, it was Lagertha’s barriers which kept them from merging, from growing beyond turbulent moments & words meant to create distance, continually severing what ties he strove to fabricate. obstacles were but a remote memory, walls of stone slowly eroded by the stark recognition of what she was to sacrifice as well as the mead that warmed her from the pits of her being.
❝ my belly has been empty of laughter until now … ❞
a faint murmur served as further confirmation of his success, breath dancing across his skin as careful contemplation seized him, awaiting his decision with bated breath, waiting for this curse to be lifted. rejuvenation had begun even without what the deafening silence suggested for them now, her mirth had been evidence of that seconds prior. & with the touch of his lips to her own, what was ajar burst open, reminiscent of gates flooded with their people to raid, to possess whatever they could.
reinless eagerness was not conveyed as she expected, the shieldmaiden was not devoured at first chance. instead, the connection was tentative, precarious, careful to not squander the opportunity. soon enough, passion began to trickle into the expression, the blunt edge of her teeth teasing the flesh of his bottom lip whilst the limb upon his chest disappeared into the overabundance of dark hair, curling strands round her slender fingers to tug just slightly. her arm ensnared him completely, keeping him near, the final blockade annihilated, a sigh expelled from her lungs into the lip-lock —- one she prolonged without, hesitation diving in deeper to d r o w n .
( ——– what had she done ? this was far beyond simple comfort. )
his hands, hardened by war reached out and fluttered like birds in his hesitance to touch her. she had always been untouchable to him. more treasured than any amount of gold, and her affection was rarer still. yet now she was crawling into his bed in the cover of night. the sweetest dream he had ever had, yet he knew he was not asleep.
despite his need, his urgent desire to reach out and touch to make sure that the woman beside him was real, rollo did not reach out and cross the space between them. did not d a r e in case Lagertha would vanish like a vision in the night.
in the dark he could barely see her. he so desperately wanted to see her and to trace her form with his eyes, then hands, and then mouth if he was so allowed
( he knew that he would never be allowed such a thing a wretched man such as him could not be allowed to touch someone so obviously molded by the gods)
“ i will be glad to be your company tonight — everything is easier in pairs.“
the light from the moon is dim. but rollo catches the reflection of it in Lagertha’s lovely eyes. they hold such deep sadness within them. rollo is sure, that it is not only in the moon light which them seem so s a d. it makes his heart ache to see her forlorn in any way, he wishes to go out and destroy whatever has thought itself great enough to try and take the light out of the eyes of the woman he loves. even if that very being in his own brother. she does not deserve the sadness which lurks in her eyes. obviously so carefully hidden in the daylight when anyone might see.
a sadness he knows all too well. which he carried dark and heavy for four long years. a sadness that he has yet to wrestle from entirely, which still fills his thoughts with doubts of his own worth and of his tentative place by his brother’s side.
( but Lagertha without knowing it has helped to extinquish some of that sadness by returning and he can only hope that maybe — just maybe he can do the same for her )
finally. finally he reaches out to wrap a steady arm around Lagertha’s body and pull her close. he has to resist shivering at the feeling of her warmth nestled against his own. his hand rests warm and sure against her shoulder, keeping her close. whether it is for her sake or his own he does not know. but he does not care either. he will give himself this sort of selfish pleasure so long as it benefits her as well. as he gazes upon her his free hand reaches up to brush stray strands of flaxen hair from her face, calloused fingertips brushing gently against her skin in a tender caress.
“ know this lagertha. until my dying breath i will do everything in my power to see you content once more.”
the words were breathed out, a soft promise against the stray strands of hair which just barely tickle his jaw when he tilts his head down to speak to her. tomorrow she may pretend he never said such things, and rollo will not push them upon her. but he needs her to know. that no matter the years or distance between them, he will still desire her and her happiness.
even at the expense of his own.
life was what she yearned so desperately for, to feel once again as she had so long ago. but could she truly possess what she desired most with reckless abandon, to steal her away as a thief in the shadow of night, the very darkness that swallows their bodies now? all it took was a moment, the sheer nearness of him to her lithe form, the warmth radiating from his skin to envelop her, her heart beginning to pound in the caverns of her chest, awakened to stutter at a rabbit’s pace.
both had been burdened for so long, battling to not buckle beneath the weight of it all. was it weight the Gods knew they could bear? surely she was fated to bear it alone just as Rollo sought to. in the past, each effort he would expend to pursue her would be thwarted in haste to never allow her own dormant connection to come to fruition.
( … the present appeared to unearth what she had long kept concealed, lost to the recesses of her psyche. the tether that binds them now would never heed to any boundary. )
his response warranted a chuckle to couple with a nod of confirmation, foreign merriment unleashed from the prison self-discipline. though his reputation had preceded him, Rollo had grown, fulfilling the traits of becoming the great man she had doubted him to be by constructing his own path. what honourable traits begin to bloom draw Lagertha closer, to ease what doubts she had harboured before, knowing the apprehension of risk when the man in her company now was such.
touch is the spark that sears her fears, bathing them in the flames of her own impulse. once more, the numbness began to fade at his caress, shifting into the path his fingertips would follow without conscious effort whilst lashes fluttered to a close, an exhale passing from barely parted lips. a hand crept up his chest, wondering if in the darkness his own heart was racing just as hers.
❝ ——– i am content now. ❞
once more, her gaze met his through her lashes, inching closer as if to give him the chance to obliterate what misery riddles her very bones, penetrating so deep to the marrow.
what would become of them at first light? would this all be but a distant memory?
the fire was barely burning, only charred embers of what it had once been & the room it was meant to illuminate was bathed in darkness with the only real light coming from the shining crescent moon which peered in through the window left open to catch the first spring breeze.
at the sound of a voice, rollo stirred, still half in his slumber. but the voice was familiar, beautiful and soothing enough that he did not wake as he usually would at the sound of a thread.
( he realized suddenly why, because it was L a g e r t h a ’ s pleasant tone waking him up )
he sat up, the furs that were his bedding fell around him like water from a man’s bare chest.
”Lagertha?”
his voice was rough with sleep, and full of very welcome surprise at who had awoken him in the middle of the night. peering through the darkness, barely able to make out the pleasing form of the woman he would always love, rollo moved aside in his bed without a second thought. leaving a space between warm furs and soft linens for the woman to slide in to. his heart raced and he licked his suddenly very dry lips.
( was this all a dream? it seemed better than a dream. even in his dreams, he was always the one chasing her )
”You are always welcome in my bed and my home.” “Join me, before you let in the spring chill.”
his hand pats the bed, and he tenses when wondering if he was allowed to touch her in the night. it would be a dream come true. having to sleep near her and pretend she was not there would be a n i g h t m a r e.
“No that I am complaining, but is there a reason it is my bed you sought tonight?“
perhaps it was the remnants of mead in her bloodstream that prompted the query to leap from her lips. still, no matter what beverage was swirling her thoughts, it was the subconscious that remained at the wheel. loss had been the plague on her life, riddled with it, & to know she was to leave all she had left, to have little comfort when she left Kattegat once again.
it was s e l f i s h. she was a fool to yearn for the gentle comfort of another, to revel in the closeness that her life lacked. it was a craving for the nourishment her current bond was devoid of, to know that the touch upon her skin was of more than just carnal need. weakness appeared to sicken her now, even more so with the sight of a groggy Rollo before her.
( what boundaries existed, red & bolded, were all but ignored presently. )
❝ thank you. ❞
her response was barely above a whisper, advancing when the bells in her skull screamed for her to halt, to return to the solitary nature of her own bed chambers. how pitiless she was to creak open a door she would soon abandon for duty.
even with every fleeting thought against her, the shieldmaiden projected little hesitation, nestling next to the large man’s frame, so dangerously close. fingers yearned to toy with the ends of his ragged mahogany locks, azure optics colliding with the darkness of the warrior’s, a smile, although small, parting her lips.
could she truly voice her reason? what would be the ramifications of that weighted truth?
❝ yourcompany. i would rather not spend this night alone. ❞
wretched was the forlorn nature of her eyes, an obvious contradiction to what remained of her earlier smile.
